My liver just broke up with me...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm at about main and main street
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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