Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize