Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
So squirting runs in the family.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Randomize
