Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
