i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize