I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize