We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
So here I am, sexting at work.
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