When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
