Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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