it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
