how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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