in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
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