4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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