My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize