Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
