I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
