Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
His hands were made for my vagina.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
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