You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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