We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize