Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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