My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
It's just like the Real World with babies
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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