I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize