Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Boobs are out for the taking
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
