Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
