All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
