you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
