why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
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Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
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I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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