P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
