i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Dick very happy bro
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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