Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize