she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
