i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
