I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
