North Korea, Best Korea!
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
