i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
