No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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