She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
