well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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