If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
