I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
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