chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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