well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
