Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
