Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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