You're so nebulous sometimes
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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