Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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