I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Say something about gay babies.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
