my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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