They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
