I only kidnapped one of them. chill
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
