UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
