Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
