i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
