Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I am spending my child support on dildos
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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