so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize